David Choi

It’s 3:19am. It’s quiet. There’s an empty feeling inside of me.

I keep looking behind me on my bed and he’s not there. I walk out of my room and look to the left in his usual spot near the laundry room. He’s not there either. I walk downstairs and I see his dog bowls neatly tucked away in the corner - empty.

The veterinarian first injected a sedative into Snoopy to calm his nerves. Snoopy twitched a little but he didn’t make a sound. I think he was trying to hold in the pain. He was a trooper.

The vet then pulled out the 2nd needle and softly asked, “are you ready”?

I hesitated for a bit, then with a shaky voice, I said yes.

Immediately, tears starting falling down as I put my head close to his and kissed him. I held Snoopy as I watched the vet slowly inject whatever he was injecting into my best friend. I was so sad and couldn’t stop crying. He told me it should be a couple seconds. Then that was it.

I just held Snoopy and just cried. Hard.

My best buddy. The one who was always with me when I was alone. Gone. Lifeless.

I asked the vet if he had any dogs and he told me he had one that lived to 17 years old. He put his own dog to sleep. Hearing that comforted me a bit. He understood my pain…maybe even more.

After talking about doggy years, he delicately slides his hands under my dog and tells me he’s going to take him now. I say ok. He picks Snoopy up and I tell him I want to say bye one last time. I give him a kiss. I notice his body isn’t as warm anymore.

Then I walk out the door to the receptionist to pay. She suggests reading “Rainbow Bridge”.

The thought that I’ll never be able to see Snoopy, feel him, or even smell him again is what hurts the most. I wish I took more pictures. I wish I took more videos. I miss my dog so much. So much.

I really do hope there is such thing as doggy heaven. The thought feels good.

Snoopy, if you can hear me, just know that I’m going to be thinking of you all the time. I hope you don’t mind that I have some of your fur in a zip-log bag. I know you don’t care. I want to thank you for teaching me how to love unconditionally. You taught me well. I know you don’t like olives and I agree with you. People or animals should not eat them. I’m sorry I made you eat hard food. It’s just really expensive and time consuming to cook chicken and veggies for you every day. But you know I did sneak in food from time to time. Remember when we always brought you Hometown Buffet scraps? Credit goes to mom. I promise if I get another dog, he/she will always be second to you. You’re always number 1. Snoopy, you know you were a grouchy dog at times, but I forgive you. I also forgive you for biting my ankle when I was a kid and for biting my ear too. It was actually my fault. I shouldn’t have bit yours.

I remember I picked you out of all the other ones because you were the wildest one. You crazy dog :) We had good times…I’ll miss you pal. You know I cried a lot because of you, but that’s because I care a lot. And they say it’s okay if a man cries for his dog :) If there is a doggy heaven and you’re there, be glad we didn’t cut off your balls. Go wild ;)

I hope I’ll see you again someday. Miss you so freakin much.

<3 David

*crosses fingers that such place exists*