Giving More Than Receiving.
This is a rambling ramble on the subject: Giving More Than Receiving
Just being honest here…
You know, sometimes I’m just tired of doing stuff for people. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t let people “use” me. I don’t. I won’t. I’m not stupid and I know and already assume there is a motive for most people asking me to do things for them (or “with them”). I calculate in my head, “so this person is asking me to _______”. I sometimes list in my head all the things that they could gain from me doing them this particular service. (Most of the time, I don’t even go through that listing process in my head which makes me too nice?).
Some people do things for people to expect something in return. Is that bad? No. I believe everyone expects something by giving. Let me explain.
Sometimes, you give without thinking (like I mentioned above), but you are definitely reaping benefits whether you realize it or not. You are gaining either respect, love, “karma points”, a “good feeling”, Chick Fil A, or whatever else you can come up with. You are someone’s friend because you are gaining something. It doesn’t always have to be material goods, but it could be their company that you want. You enjoy their company. You’re gaining something by being their friend. Their company. Yes, I’m being technical here, but the point is, everything is give and take whether you can admit that to yourself or not - the fact that you are indeed expecting something for every “generous” thing you do.
I guess I’m writing this because I feel like I give more than I receive. I think I give to others who aren’t my best friends (or even people I barely know) more than I receive from the rest of the world. Maybe I should stop doing that…?
The thing is, I don’t owe anyone anything. I only owe my BEST friends and family my loyalty. If you’re anyone else, I don’t owe you jack $hit. <— oops, I had to say it. :)
All the good things I do for people is because I believe “we simply should”. I do it from the goodness of my heart. But then why do I feel a strong sense of “what am I getting out of this?”. When did it get to this point?
When it comes to my best friends. I buy them dinners and lunches - all without remembering how many times I did or much I “owe” them. I honestly can’t remember how many times I bought my best friends food, but I know it’s high up there. They can say the same for me. I don’t even know how many times they bought food for me. But these are my best friends, so it doesn’t even matter to me when talking about this subject. I love them.
I try to be nice. I try to be a generous person. I wish everyone would give more than they received, then it would make me feel a bit better about giving. I don’t like this feeling of having to control my kindness and generosity. I wish everyone around me was generous without expecting anything in return. Unfortunately, at this moment, I feel this way and I don’t want to. I shouldn’t. It doesn’t go with my beliefs.
No one should have to be so generous that it would make them feel as though they are being taken advantage of…
…because that is what happens when you are too generous.
Lesson learned? Or lesson misinterpreted?
